Exit Sandman

Once upon a midnight dreary—
No, that isn’t right.
But truly I was weak and weary
This warm summer night.

As usual, I turned and tossed
(I might have counted sheep).
It seemed that I might just have lost
My shot at decent sleep.

(Please be aware, my rhyming scheme
May fluctuate a bit.
At 6 am, you understand,
My writing skills are shot.)

I’d gone to bed a decent hour.
No, honestly, I had!
Although, of late, my track record
Had gotten pretty bad.

Through studying and chatting—
More the latter than the form—
I’d stayed up late night after night
Back in my college dorm.

A couple times I’d gone all night
And not returned to bed;
I fear that did a number
On my poor collegiate head.

For now wide awake I lay,
Unsure of what to do.
I don’t recall what time it was;
Most likely one or two.

Whether from the lack of sleep
Or from that evening’s stew,
My addled brain decided then
To bid its host adieu.

The next thing that I knew I am
Back in my college digs,
A tiny room so filthy
It’s not fit for keeping pigs.

My dormitory mate outgoing
On his futon lies,
Surrounded by his munchies:
Soda, chips, and curly fries.

And where am I? Oh, come now,
Do you really have to ask?
I’m in a room where all I am
Is screenname and hostmask.

I don’t recall exactly whom
I’m chatting with just now;
A change of scene assures
It doesn’t matter anyhow.

For now I am outside my room,
Out in the parking lot.
My friends are asking if I’d care
To join them for a spot.

I shrug, and quickly climb aboard
With David, Ruth, and Liz.
’Tis Paul’s that we are heading toward
(Whoe’er the heck that is!)

Then suddenly we have returned
As quickly as we’d gone;
For somebody had said, “Let’s take
Our party to the Barn!”

We sample foods laid out for us,
Not hot food, but still warm.
Cut back to my abandoned room—
The chatroom, not the dorm.

One chatter asks if I still live.
My roommate tells him no:
“In fact,” he types, “your good friend Steve
Split quite some time ago.”

Presently, I feel my pillow
Sunken ’neath my head;
I guess I had been dreaming
’Cause I’m right back in my bed!

But sadly, it was not for long;
My clock said it was four.
And as it seems, the sandman
Was evading me once more.

I thought back to my dream (I should,
While I can still recall).
Most times, the dreams I have do not
Make any sense at all.

But this night, it seemed fitting
I should dream of staying up,
To show what happens when I let
My sleeping schedule drop.

And suddenly the answer came,
As plain as it can be:
When I opt to abandon sleep,
It, too, abandons me!

I shall be cursed to toss and turn
As if I were on Speed,
Ne’er again that night to earn
The sleep I deeply need.

So let this be a warning dire
To those who wish to snooze:
When you try to fight the sandman,
It is both of you who lose.